Kamis, 14 Desember 2017

Tak Sesederhana Amarah

Mungkin tak banyak yang tahu, bahwa aku ini seseorang yang menyeramkan ketika marah. Percayalah, kau yang baru mengenalku tak akan mau ada di dekatku ketika aku sedang marah. Tapi ini hanya perkara marah, bukan perkara besar untukku. Pernah suatu hari aku marah besar, menahan tangis semalaman karena bisa-bisanya seseorang yang selalu ada tiba-tiba menghilang di agenda besar tahunan. Tapi sekali lagi, ini hanya urusan amarah. Besoknya, ketika aku bertemu dengannya, aku peluk dengan erat dan aku tepuk pundaknya dengan gemas seraya berkata "Awas kalau kamu kaya gini lagi!". Dan ia tertawa, selesai. Sungguh, selesai semuanya. Jadi sebenarnya, marah adalah perkara kecil untukku.

Tapi tidak dengan kecewa. Itu sulit, berat sekali.
Ketika aku kecewa, aku akan diam. Tak menyeramkan bukan? Toh hanya diam, entah berapa lama, bisa jadi selamanya. Biasanya aku akan menghukum diriku sendiri. Iya, sejatinya aku hanya menghukum diri sendiri. Kau kira mudah bagiku untuk diam seperti itu? Tidak, aku pun ingin mentransformasikan rasa ini menjadi sekedar rasa marah sesaat dan ucapkan segalanya langsung di depan mukamu. Tapi apa daya, tidak bisa. Ada sesuatu yang mendasar yang terlanjur terluka disini.

And in this case, this time, you hurt someone precious for me.
No, it's not about me. I don't care if you got mess with me. I don't really care too if you hurt my heart with your statements about me. I don't care.
And no no, it's not about my bestfriend. It's not about how you made her cry before in front of your face. I'm agree that it's not right, but i know that she could handle it. So, it's your business with her.


But do you know? Do you remember how you called your close friend as a "Provocator"?!
I don't get it. How could you state your friend with that name. The Provocator. To the people out there and made them feel that she is truly a provocator based on your story.

Hey, it's hurt me!
She is my little sister, you're my little sister too. I really couldn't get it why are you so mean.
Wonder how if i were her, maybe i'll cry all over the night because the one who i care so much would called me like that.

Ah, you don't know. You don't know how hard she tried to do her best to help you get out from this situation. I'm curious, what will you do, if you know that i'm on her side, that every act from her is based on my instruction. What will you do? Will you called me as a provocator too?
I dont care. Really. Just call me whatever you likes.

Please. Stop. Stop it right now.
We already need to recover everything, so stop everything right now.

See, now you know how childish i am.But i'll always be this childish if someone hurt my lovely friends. Sure, whoever you are.

*So sorry, i have no time to check the grammar first, haha.
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